Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
