Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
