So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
