i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
