I think my vagina is haunted
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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