He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
