In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
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