why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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