do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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