I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
