whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize