that's an acceptable place to lick
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
