I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize