Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
