dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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