Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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