So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Dear god my vagina.
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