I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
