this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
