Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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