he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
