Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Will you blow on my dice?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
