question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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