After last night, I could never be a politician.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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