WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
