Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
