singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
