So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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