"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
