Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
