I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Your dad touched me again.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
