i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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