fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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