you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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