He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
