So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
do herpes really smell.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
