Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
