Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
