Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize
