watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
