I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
