alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
