Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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