just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize
