I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
