He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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