I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
