hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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