it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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