you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
birth control should be required to get into college
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
