So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
