Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
