I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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