I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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