Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You are the jesus of drinking
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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