remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize