I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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