he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
