Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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