listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
