Dual....:-)
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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