this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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