at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
