we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
